SMAP!

SMAP (which stands for Sports Music Assemble People) is the original Japanese boy band. Having debuted in 1988, these Japanese Backstreet Boys are the longest running and most successful Japanese boy band in existence. The absolutely packed Tokyo Olympic Stadium, where I saw the concert tour for their new album “Pop-Up SMAP”, was a testament to their continued popularity.

I am not a SMAP fan and I don’t really know any of their songs except for this one that is featured on a commercial. When I first traveled to Japan in 1999, the group had just released their album entitled “Birdman.” I remember that the music video was constantly on TV. Seven years later, they are still going strong with their chart-topping new album, “Pop-Up SMAP.”

Their new album has a 3-D theme and our concert tickets came with a complementary pair of 3-D glasses, which we were instructed to put on during various parts of the concert. We were then treated to semi-comedic videos of band members doing goofy things like throwing cards and hitting ping-pong balls towards the audience members, thanks to the effects.

I went to the concert with two coworkers, both older than me by a minimum of ten years. The older of the two was Murata-san, the die-hard SMAP fan. The younger coworker, Takegawa-san had just agreed to come along to see the spectacle.

Our group’s first stop was the souvenir area. The area most closely resembled a never-ending line of those wooden fireworks stands that they set up outside supermarkets during the 4th of July. Each stall sold a different item. From circular fans featuring your favorite band member’s face for $10 a pop to hats and shirts for $50 each, everything was on sale. Murata-san was busy loading up on SMAP extra long bath towels and cell phone straps when a Chinese woman approached me.

She was lugging a giant plastic crate on wheels beside her, packed to the gills with programs, posters, and plastic folders featuring the fab five. She asked me in English if I would go up to the nearby stand and buy ten posters for her because there was a limit to how much any one individual person could buy. I refused, knowing that she was only going to resell the stuff online.

The concert was held in the open-aired Tokyo Olympic Stadium. The day boasted at least 95-degree sunny weather, which made the duration of the three-hour show a bit uncomfortable. Even though I am not a diehard fan, I must say that SMAP puts on a great show.

The five members zip-lined down to the stage to start the show off. There were also giant rising platforms that came out of the stage, fireworks, trampoline action, and of course, inflatable palm trees. It was like Nickelodeon’s GUTS meets N’SYNC.

The music was mostly all unmemorable Japanese pop (this was likely because I didn’t know any of their songs going into the show). The one song I do remember is the title song from their new album "Pop-Up SMAP" which sounded very similar to Spiceworld from the Spice Girls. Every now and then, individual band members would do slower solo songs, and there were also large group numbers with a hefty amount of backup dancers.

On a whole, I would say that the band members were quite off key while singing. This was very evident whenever a single band member would sing a love ballad to a slower tempo. While I was cringing as his voice cracked at the high notes, all the female patrons were undeterred, clutching their Kimtaku fans to their chest as they gazed with loving eyes down to him on the stage.

It should have been written on the ticket that a “penlight” was required for the show. A penlight is a light up glow wand that one waves back and forth for the duration of the three-hour show without stopping. It was lucky that Murata-san had brought several of her spares. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out! While the sight of some 60 thousand people waving neon blue and pink penlights in the nighttime air was definitely amazingly beautiful, the searing pain in my arms after hours of robotic waving was not.

Also, people stood on their feet for 95% of the concert. I guess penlight waving is best conducted standing up, so that one has a greater arc in which to swing their arm. Perhaps the event’s artistic directors wanted all the patrons to be “Sports Assemble People” right alongside with SMAP. Indeed, my head was throbbing after hours of waving, jumping and standing during the concert. Soaked in my own sweat at the concert’s end, I felt as though I had just undergone the President’s Physical Fitness test in gym class. *I never was fit enough to get the T-shirt*

I have found that Japanese concerts have a set number of encores that the artists decide to perform before they wave goodbye and it is time for everyone to shuffle out. Thus, there is no calling the artists back to the stage for more music. Thankfully, SMAP only performed one encore – during which they rode around in circus animal cages pulled by pickup trucks.

Leaving the stadium was hell, due both to my woozy, sickly condition and the fact that you were smashed in a solid mass of human flesh. As with the Asakusa fireworks show, I was deathly afraid of being trampled to death.

I rode home on the train. I had to stand because the cars were packed with SMAP fans. Even the air smelled like SMAP. I finally got a seat ¾ of the way through my ride. Girls with vinyl “Pop-Up SMAP” tote bags, energetically reminiscing about the concert we had all just seen, accompanied me all the way home.

B.E.W.